Waited long enough a Bellarke confrontation
by Saitla
Summary: Following the events of episode 5x12, Bellamy finds and confronts Clarke. Madi says what we’re all thinking. Bellarke confrontation. One shot story.
1. Bellarke confrontation 5x13: One shot

This is what I need. I neeedz it.

(Not a native English speaker. So this is riddled with spelling errors and mistakes. Read at own risk)

Following the events of 5x12, when Bellamy finds and confronts an unwilling Clarke.

 _"Clarke! Stop!"_ Bellamy shouts at her back as she walks away. She doesn't turn around at his exclamation. But he can see that she tenses at the sound of his voice. He runs to her, when he's in reach he grabs her arm, forcing her to turn his way.

 _"Clarke, stop.."_ He says again, but there is a light plea in his otherwise demanding voice.

 _"What?!"_ She hisses, but looks elsewhere, beside him. Trying her hardest not to meet his gaze.

 _"I just thought that you might be interested, that I'm alive_." He tries to light the mood, but fails. There is too much accusation in his voice.

A slight gush of shame washes over Clarke, but is quickly quelled by hurt and anger. She tears her arm free from his grasp. She says nothing and starts walking away. But Bellamy still has more to say.

 _"I did the right thing. I was going to save you, and all of us!_ " His voice louder again.

Clarke turns her attention towards him again, this time meeting his eyes. Her gaze cold yet burning right into him. He sees her taking a strengthening breath before she erupts.

 _"By putting a child in danger!? How could you?! How is that right?!"_ Her voice stings him, matching his in volume. She's facing him completely now. At least she's not trying to get as far away from him as possible. He takes a calming breath, and lowers his voice, " _just hear me out_." His hands are stretched in front of him.

Clarke huffs at his request, " _I can't even look at you"._ She says through a clenched jaw and gritted teeth. He sees she's holding back tears and is affected by this. He has always had a weakness for her tears, wanting to comfort her whenever she cried.

 _"Clarke.."_ there's a severity in his voice, " _I was trying to stop a war that would kill hundreds. Can't you see that?!"_ A heartbeat passes.

 _"All I can see is that the person I trusted the most, almost got the person I love the most killed"._ There is no anger in her voice now, just hurt and betrayal. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

He himself is holding back tears as well. Her words hitting him hard and cutting deep.

" _You told me! You told me to use my head!"_ He takes a few steps towards her. They are in reach of each other, but still at a significant distance.

 _"Yeah! I told you to use your head! But you're acting like you don't even have a heart anymore Bellamy_!" She cries, clenching her fists.

Before he can stop himself, words he never thought to say out loud now falls from him like rain from the sky.

 _"BECAUSE IT DIED WHEN YOU DID!"_ He yells back.

They both freeze. Eyes widened as they look at each other. Bellamy suddenly looks down, breaking the gaze, trying to find the right words.

 _"I thought you died and.. I changed. My head was all that was left"._ A tear falls from one of his eyes as he struggles to explain.

Clarke doesn't know what to say next. His words touching on something that has been unsaid between them for a long time. She finds herself unable to face it. It's irrelevant now anyway and it hurts too much.

 _"Go back to your family, Bellamy. You've made it clear that we're not a part of it"._ She doesn't meet his eyes again; instead she turns and walks away.

Bellamy drags his hand across his face, wiping the fallen tears away. He stands there for a moment. But when he's about to turn and walk the other way a voice stops him.

 _"You know she loves you right?"_ Bellamy turns his startled attention on a figure leaning against a tree behind him. Stunned by her words he lets out a shaky " _Uh.. It's complicated; well you did warn me that she wouldn't forgive me"._ He looks down again, wondering if it was worth it after all.

Madi speaks again _. "I also know that she called you on the radio every day for 2199 days. Never giving up hope that you'd come back.. It seems wrong that you're the one giving up now."_

Bellamy's heart stops, his breath ragged. She'd called him? The realization echoing in his head. " _I didn't know, she didn't tell me."_ His voice low, deep in thought.

 _"Everyone she's ever loved, you know THAT way, has died. She believes she's cursed… Not that it matters now. You've moved on. She will to.."_ Madi pauses, as though wanting her words to sink in before continuing, ".. _If that's what you really want._ "

His head snaps up. The words hitting him like a blow to the chest. Knowing the meaning behind it all. He looks in the direction Clarke disappeared to. Having trouble controlling his breathing, something that he has buried deep a long time ago starts to awaken.

He looks at Madi once again. She nods and walks off, leaving Bellamy alone in the company of the swaying trees and the bright moonlight.


	2. Chapter 2

" _She's going to get you killed, you know that right?_ " his former paramore said, her back toward him, halfway out the door. Showing him only the profile of her face.

Bellamy knew she wanted him to ask her to stay. To take back all what had transpired between them just now. What could he possibly say to make things better? He sighed, building up courage to say anything at all.

" _I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you.. That nothing would change on the ground. You deserve better, Echo. I'm sorry_ ". His words hung heavy in the air. She wasn't looking directly at him, only eying him from her peripheral vision.

" _I was foolish. We both know that if she'd been up on the ring with us. You.. you never would have given me a second glance._ ", Her voice grew smaller at the last words.

He wanted to tell her that it wasn't true. That Clarke's presence on the ark wouldn't have changed anything. But he couldn't say that. He knew it would've been a lie.

The silence must have been an indication of the uncomfortable truth between them, as Echo walked out before he could say anything else. A part of him was relieved, he couldn't fix them right now. She needed time. Hopefully, they could mend their friendship in the future.

But the feeling of relief quickly turned to trepidation in his stomach. A mix between anxiety and anticipation. Madi's words still swivereld in his mind from the night before. He knew he needed to see Clarke. His heart thumped at the thought, but he also feared what meeting her now would mean.

He sat down on a nearby chair, putting his hand over his mouth and breathing in deeply as he recalled the first night on the ring. How he'd cried himself to sleep over the fact that he was responsible for the death of his.. " _best friend_? _partner_? _His 'would have been'_?" .. his Clarke.

He couldn't even categorize what she'd been to him. Only that she meant _everything_. And then she was gone. Dead. Because of him.

He knew, he loved Clarke. He'd probably loved her for a long time, but he hadn't been clear about it since after the fall of the city of light, at least that's what he told himself. He'd been so provoked by her trying to say goodbye to him at the end. Regret filled his chest, it hurt to breath. He hadn't even let her say goodbye properly.

He couldn't remember how many months he just sat, looking down at the scorched patch of dirt that once was their home. Where Clarke's ashes now coated the surface somewhere. He'd feel sick at the thought, but couldn't get the image of her bones withering away in the wake of Praimfaya.

His only escape from the image was trying to redirect his thoughts to O. Another one he'd left behind, but who was still alive. Someone he might actually have a chance to see again. " _May we meet again_ ", he'd whisper out into the nothingness of space.

Bellamys attention snapped back to the present by the tears that slowly rolled down his cheeks and onto his hands.

He took a breath again, trying to soothe the fear inside him. " _This isn't going to be like the last time_ ", he told himself. " _She won't get ripped away from me again_ ". He stood up, but finding his legs a bit unstable to stand with.

His gaze turned towards the door, and the light knocking. " _Hey man.._ " he heard as the door opened.

His eyes meet the concerned face of his friend peeking in. " _You all right?_ ", Murphy spoke again. Bellamy nodded as Murphy made his way into the cottage, holding a book in his left hand.

" _Sooo.. your love life is just a mess.. I guess we have another thing incommon_ " Murphy chuckled slightly, testing the temperature of the room.

" _Yeah. Well. So much changed when we came down again_ " Bellamy answered, not really wanting to get into the situation with Echo, he focused his attention to the book. It felt familier somehow. " _What's that?_ " he asked.

" _Uhm, actually, the reason why I came in here. I thought you might want to see it_ ", Murphy paused, handing him the book, ". _.It's Clarkes sketchbook_ ".

Bellamy's heart suddenly hammered in his chest. If he knew Clarke at all, this was like a journal of the last six years. " _Is it okay for us to look at this?_ " he asked not necessarily Murphy but more like himself. Even though he really wanted to look through it, just to get a glimpse to see if she'd missed him as much as he'd missed her, he didn't want to betray her trust. _More then he'd already have_ , he scolded himself.

Murphy shrugged " _Here_ " he said, and opened the book before Bellamy could stop him, flipping it to a page with a leaf on it. " _Look at the pages after this_ ". As curiosity overtook him and Bellamy started flipping the pages he found himself staring into his own eyes, at his own face, his smile. The pages was filled with images of him, and Madi. He couldn't help to smile as he looked at a much younger version of Madi holding a fishing spear.

He found his heart breaking again. She'd been all alone, taking care of a child, _alone_. Never knowing if they'd come back for her. And still having this unwavering faith in them, in _him_.

" _Yeah, that would've been my reaction too_ " Murphy smirked at the bewilderment in Bellamy's eyes. " _I was just going to give it back to her.. but maybe you'd do me a solid and do it for me?_ "

Bellamy let out a breath, not really being able to think straight. A moment passed between them before he found his voice.

" _What am I gonna say? What could I possibly say to make this right? She waited for me, and I.._ ". He paused, letting silence fill the room.

He was stuck in a loop of guilt, the same guilt that had plagued him for six years. The guilt of leaving her behind, the guilt of moving on, the guilt of not knowing how to reconnect with her when he _finally_ found her again. All this guilt coated with the sorrow of never knowing what could have been. " _But_ ".. his heart started rumbling as he finished his thought, " _we have a chance now_ ".

Filled with the feelings he'd buried long ago, a determination took hold of Bellamy.

" _We've waited for each other long enough_ " he declared as he marched out of the house and into the cold night air.

 _**I will do a part three. Set directly after this, where Bellamy and Clarke actually interact. But I will probably do it in duel-POV._


	3. Chapter 3

III. _Bellarke confrontation part 3/3: 'Waited long enoug_ h'

Clarke looks at the bed and comtemplates going to sleep. She thinks of Madi, their new commander, and wonders if she'll come to bed soon or if she'll spend the night at the church again with her people.

" _Her people_ ", Clarke repeats in her mind.

During the six years they spent alone, the role of a leader washed away from Clarke and the compulsive urge to care for and protect a large number of people was reduced to caring for a single child. Her child.

The same fierceness was still there though. And Clarke's intensity might have been to great to direct towards just one person. Her urge to protect Madi at every cost had overwhelmed even her. Madis safety had made Clarke emotional, it clouded her judgement in a way that was new to her. She knew that now. Before Praimfaya she always had a sense of "the greater good", but with Madi, she had tunnel vision.

And because of it she'd hurt someone she cares a great deal for. Clarke replays the argument with Bellamy from last night in her mind. She'd gotten so angry just by the sight of him. Her trust in him had not wavered one bit in the last six years, until now.

He made her a promise. Clarke was sentenced to death, she was prepared to die and knowing Bellamy had made that promise to her gave her such comfort. Because she knew she could trust him, she knew Madi would be safe. And then he did what she'd spent all this time preventing. It felt like being hit in the gut and then drowned in ice cold water.

The realization had hit her like a sandstorm filled with glass, Bellamy couldn't be trusted anymore. Their friendship, and more importantly their partnerhood had really truly ended.

Killed by something so trivial as the passing of time.

It made her heart ache, her chest hurt with sorrow as she faced this new reality. She was just as alone now as she'd been six years ago.

But then, Bellamy came for her in those woods. Feeling the guilt, the anger combined with her own sadness had been to much to bear.

 _"I thought you died and.. I changed. My head was all that was left"._

Clarke fills her lungs with air, steadying herself as she replays his words over and over.

It had taken all her strength to walk away from him. Feelings that had grown stronger in the absence of him crushed her heart. She couldn't let herself feel it. She'd lost him. He'd lost her. He was with someone else. They could never go back to what they used to be or where they were going. The trust was broken. And what's left without trust?

Focusing her attention to the present. She looks out the window, staring at her own dim reflection. Her gaze falls from the window. The urge for a new start far away hung heavy in her heart. Like when she left Arkadia after Mount Weather. But she could never leave Madi. She removed her jacket and hung it on the chair next to her.

" _I guess my days running are over."_ , she snickered bitterly to herself.

A deep voice challenged her from across the room " _Can I get that in writing by any chance?"_.

Bellamy walked towards Clarke's house in the heart of the valley, gripping the sketchbook tightly in his hand. He didn't know where this would take them, but he was ready for anything. Whether it would be her anger, her resentment, friendship or... In any form, he just needed her.

He walked past the church, which was lighted with candles and filled with voices. The door stood wide open, letting him peer in as he went by it. Madi sat in a circle looking at the faces around her.

" _She looks so happy"_ , he contemplated. If there was any doubt in him if he'd made the right choice letting her take the flame, it was quelled by the sight of the young commander in her element.

He swallowed hard, moving closed to Clarkes home.

The walk to her door was long but finally there he stood. As impuls took hold of him, he didn't even knock, he just went in.

Her back was towards him. She must have been deep in thought, because his presence went unnoticed. She removed her jacket and said quietly, clearly to herself, that her days of running was over.

" _Can I get that in writing by any chance?",_ his voice reacted faster than his mind could keep up. She swivereld around to face him. Her chest heaving at the startled realization of not being alone.

The stood there, looking at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Bellamy walked slowly towards her, carefully placing one foot in front of the other. He was close to her when he ended the silence.

" _I know we can fix this"_ , he paused, waiting for her to react. Did she remember? Did his words seem familiar.

Her head snapped up, she looked at him curiously. " _Yeah, she remembers"_ , he smiled to himself.

" _You're not going to cuff me to a chair again are you?",_ she said jokingly, a little perplexed by his words that once was her own. He ignored her comment, being to busy building the courage to continue.

" _I wish.. I wish that I'd listen to you back then. I was so angry at you when I should have just.."_ he paused again. " _I want us to have a chance"._

Her chest hurt as hope resurfaced from all those times she'd talked to him on the radio, hoping that he'd hear her, that he'd wait for her.

Suddenly forgiving him didn't feel hard. Trusting him again seemed easy. Letting him into her heart felt necessary. But even with him standing in front of her, trepidation grew in her stomach. Love ultimately leads to loss.

And then reality struck her. He isn't available for the things she want.

" _Bellamy.. I.. "_ , was all she could manage to let out. Not wanting to presume what he meant by "chance". He didn't let her go on anyway. His chest was bursting with the things he wanted to tell her.

" _If I knew you survived. If I'd heard your calls. I would have waited for you. Clarke.. I would wait another six years if it meant being with you_ ".

Clarkes breathing stopped. He said it. It was out in the open. She can only stare at him. His face growing increasingly nervous with the length of her silence. Clarke forces herself to breath.

" _Clarke..",_ his voice no louder than a whisper as he moves even closer to her. He takes one of her hand in his own before he speaks again.

" _I know you're angry for what I did. Tell me to go to hell if that's what you want. I'll still wait. There is no one else_ ".

They are only inches apart now. Clarke never breaks eye contact. She feels the words she want to say swell in her throat. Neither of them blinks. He feels his skin heat as he looks into her eyes. He shifts his weight onto his other foot, steadying himself for whatever comes next, whether it be her rejection or... Or..

" _Maybe we've waited long enough?"_

Clarkes voice is soft but trembling. Her lips form a small smile. She knows she'll never let him go it they do this, the thought is almost aggressive.

Bellamy fights back a smile. He carefully places a lock of her hair behind her ear. How many years did it take for them to get here? He is never letting her go again, he thinks as his hands desperately grip her waist, closing the distance between them. Clarke lets her fingers run through the back of his head, into his hair.

Their first kiss tastes of salty tears and it's perfect, because it's them.

The heart and the head.


End file.
